Democrats Want To Dump Biden, But They Have A Problem; A Major Problem

In the past month both The New York Times and The Atlantic have run articles that the Democratic Party leadership recognizes that they need a replacement for Joe Biden going into the next Presidential election. I guess it’s okay to talk about overturning an election, as long as the Dems are doing the talking. But how exactly would that work?

The party leadership could sit old Joe down and explain to him that it would be best for the party and the country if he opted to not run again. How do you suppose appealing to Joe’s sense of reason would work? Think about our reasonable withdrawal from Afghanistan before you answer that.

The Dems could push to impeach him. Heck there’s enough evidence of Chinese bribery on Hunter’s laptop alone to support an impeachment – if the Republicans went along with it (though they shouldn’t). Alternatively, they could remove him via the 25^th Amendment for cognitive inability to do the job. That would be one of the easiest cases in history to make. But I’m guessing the optics of Dr. Jill, clawing at the doorframe, as security drags her from the White House would be a show the Dems wouldn’t want to treat America to. Nope, if the Dems want to dump Biden, they’re going to have to run a primary challenger against him in 2024. And that’s where things get really entertaining – for us that is, it will be Maalox overdoses for the Dems. Who would they run against him?

There’s always Mayor Pete, our current Secretary of the Department of Transportation. He would allow the Dems to claim yet another first – checking the all-important LGBTQ box. Of course, he still hasn’t figured out that a broken transportation system (which he is responsible for) is part of our broken supply chain. Under his leadership ships can’t unload, trucks can’t cross some boarders, and warehouses remain understaffed, while he spends his time looking for new ways to tax motorists.

Campaign promise: As President, I’ll take no more maternity leave than I’m legally entitled to. Oh, and I need a couple of weeks off for Pride month too.

Campaign slogan: A can of baby formula in every shopping cart by the end of my first term.

Bernie Sanders is still available to serve. He’s the angry old man of politics shouting for everyone to get off of his yard. That anger has always worked well for the Democrat base – who are always relieved to see somebody angrier than they are. However, it doesn’t play so well for the general public, who had enough of grumpy old men yelling at them when they were kids.

Campaign promise: As President, I will never lose the fire, no matter how many mansions I acquire in our worker’s paradise.

Campaign slogan: Yes, we can – if we can just figure out what it is we’re angry about.

Gavin Newsom is an obvious choice. He will unquestionably bring the best hair to politics. As the leader of the only state that matters (according to Californians) it would only be a small step to becoming the leader of the entire nation – bringing California’s innovation to the rest of the country.

Campaign promise: As President, I will solve the rampant homeless problem which those rubes in flyover country created.

Campaign slogan: I’m electable. I even beat recall.

I suspect Beto O’Rourke has already filed papers to be on the 2024 presidential ballot – along with every other open office. Is it just me, or does he look strikingly like Butt-Head of Beavis and Butt-Head fame? Has anyone ever accomplished less in their political career than Beto (and yes that even includes our current empty suit in the Oval Office)? But he does know how to ride a skateboard. That should lock in the Democratic base and the Antifa vote (skateboards being their weapon of choice).

Campaign promise: As President, I’ll make all guns illegal, because that’s the only idea I have.

Campaign slogan: Hell yes, I can win this time!

A primary challenge by Andrew Cuomo is probably unavoidable – because like genital herpes and the Clintons, the Cuomos just won’t go away. Cuomo has the distinction of being the only governor who has actually reduced the carbon footprint of his state – by reducing the state’s population. He shrewdly accomplished this by housing COVID patients in the state’s nursing homes.

Campaign promise: As President, I will employ more young female aides in the Oval Office than any president in history – and they’ll look better than the ones Slick Willy hired.

Campaign slogan: Those allegations have not been proven.

As the current Vice President, Kamala Harris’ candidacy is assumed. Her most memorable moment on the campaign trail will be her discussion of the importance of the office she is seeking: The gravity of the Oval Office demands great gravitas, because nothing is more important to the office than gravitas, which the gravity of the office demands.

Campaign promise: I promise to be the best black/Asian, female, President that the country has ever had.

Campaign slogan: Give affirmative action a chance – again.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will finally be old enough to run for President. She has a degree in economics, and thinks that socialism is a viable economic system – which explains why she was a bartender until she found an occupation requiring even less mental acuity (elected member of congress).

Campaign promise: I will bring youth and inexperience to the oval office.

Campaign slogan: Let’s do socialism right this time.

I’m sure Cory Booker thinks 2024 will be his time to shine – but that’s only because he’s an idiot. There is a certain level of silliness that is unrecoverable. When Howard Deans screamed, “Yee Haw” (or whatever the hell it was) after the 2004 Iowa caucuses, he effectively ended his political career – because he looked too stupid to vote for. When Cory Booker declared himself to be Spartacus, he topped the “Dean Scream” for silliness and ended his future electoral viability forever – because he can never again enter a room without an accompaniment of laughter.

Campaign promise: It doesn’t matter, nobody takes him seriously

Campaign slogan: It doesn’t matter, “Spartacus” is all anyone will remember.

The reality is that there was a good reason that Slow Joe Biden got the Democratic nomination in 2020. He was the best they had. Ponder that for a moment. For the past 20 years, the Democrats have allowed the radicals to purge the party of anyone even remotely capable of leading the country. Now all they have left is a collection of senile octogenarians and insane radicals that think calling half of the country names is a winning strategy.

They’re stuck with a party leader that breaks everything he touches, is incapable of opening his mouth without saying something stupid, and is rapidly headed towards an approval rating of zero (which is his only actual polling floor).

Of course, they want to dump him for someone else. Who wouldn’t? But they’ll have the same problem in 2024 that they had in 2020. Joe Biden is still the most electable candidate they’ve got (snicker, snicker).

Watching the Dems try to wiggle out of this predicament is going to be the best show on Earth. Sorry Ringling Brothers. You’re not even going to be close to topping the Democrat Party’s clown show for years to come.

By John Green

John Green is a political refugee from Minnesota, now residing in Idaho. He has written for American Free News Network, American Thinker, and The Blue State Conservative.  He can be followed on Facebook or reached at greenjeg@gmail.com.

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This article was first published by the American Free News Network.